Tuesday, January 25, 2011

A journey with no destination

I recently begun a journey... Actually I've been walking it all my life, but over the past month through an interesting chain of beautifully purposeful occurrences devised by life itself, it began to take on a rather distinctive glow. This new and exciting leg of that journey began on Christmas day.

I'd spent the morning at home cleaning the last of my house whilst packing rather a number of our worldly possessions into the car. There were all of your normal holidaying items, plus a few others including such things as a bicycle, my desktop computer, and three jars of live sourdough culture... I tended to the last few jobs in my garden, and packed a picnic lunch for the three hour drive we had ahead of us to visit our family for Christmas. I left slightly flustered a little after midday having just mustered all at once all of the organisation skills I had, to attempt to make it to my parents before the excitement of Christmas day fizzled out for my little man. So after collecting my enthusiastic wee chap from his mums, we got on our way.

Halfway in we found a lovely little spot under some trees at a park in a town we often pass through on this route where we stopped for our Christmas picnic lunch. With organic apples, delicious sandwiches, and freshly picked tomatoes, berries, and baby peas from our garden amongst other things, and a few gifts from a Dad to his boy; we made our Christmas day journey into an adventure, rather than just a long drive.

And then we continued on our way..

Although, as we drove along the main road in the center of the next town we came to... my well behaved car decided that that was as far as he was going to take us on our journey. So after a few extra hours of mechanical dysfunction, although helpfully aided by an extremely kind AA serviceman and his wife, and my also very kind grandfather who drove the two hour round trip to collect us, we finally arrived at the other end safe and sound. The concern I had of leaving my car at the servicemans house was short lived when I turned to see the several ferocious dogs in cages right behind where he was parked. Yet now almost nine o'clock at night, Christmas day was almost over, but none the less we had arrived.

We spent the next week having a great time with friends and family, swimming, riding bikes, eating Christmas left overs and other deliciousness, finding shade from the sun beneath trees and climbing amongst their branches with my sisters beautiful little boy excitedly along side my own. We also returned to assess the situation with my car, still with an uncertainty as to the reason for its misbehaviour. We did fortunately have it towed back to Mum & Dad's for the convenience of repairing what ever the problem was, however, with most places closed from Christmas and not reopening until after the New Year there were potentially going to be delays in this happening... and of course... there was.

On the second day of the New year, my little man departed back home to holiday with his Mum for a week, and the world was temporarily my oyster. A few days prior to Christmas I had somehow managed to win myself some tickets to see one of my very favourite musical ensemble's 'Fat Freddy's Drop' play at any gig of my choosing along there coming tour. All were in rather obscure places, small towns or beach side villages in the middle of nowhere and several hours away from me, So it was unlikely I was going to be able to utilise my winnings. However, within a day of this I discovered that good friends of mine from where I was going to be visiting had just days before bought tickets themselves... So, who lucked in big time?! It was a fantastic three days of getting back to the basics, camping amongst native bush, swimming in beautiful beaches, good food, great friends, cold beer, and a refreshing adventure...

And of course a fantastic night out at the local rural tavern.... or more so in the concert venue they have hiding away out the back for times just like this...

We returned after our three days, which also consisted of twelve hours of driving, a little tired... and myself, feeling quite disorientated. I'd enjoyed so much the journey out into a place where I felt in my element, amongst nature with such simple needs, that returning and letting go of that experience of my ideal felt a little unsettling ... So the next day not feeling my normal self I decided a change of scene might aid the processing that was needed... my lovely sister was happy to aid me in my search, and I temporarily relocated to her house; which proved to be just the thing for my journeying soul. A few days in my sisters humble abode turned into several beautiful days in her company, as well as with my nephew, and their delightful house guest; a young lady my sister had know since high school. We cooked, we ate, we drank, we discussed life, and through those conversations, a few rather helpful books, and some encouraging wisdom and insight, I discovered in myself exactly what I needed to in that time.

During this when finally a diagnosis of what was wrong with my car was made, and the part that was needed was ordered... it had to come from overseas. So come Tuesday morning, five days later, when it was meant to arrive and didn't due to a hold up in customs, I again had to extend my travels. I was not particularly reluctant to do this, but it was very helpful to have the assistance of a number of patient and understanding family members, and my sons mother...

Three mornings passed with no luck.. But when Friday morning arrived and the part had still not, we had to devise a strategy. The car at this point was going, yet was at reasonably high risk of re-offending... yet irrespective of this, time was ticking on. So I decided that the next morning despite the risk, I would attempt the adventure home.

I made it about half an hour before I broke down again, but as far as I was concerned half an hour was good. I gave it another half an hours rest but had no luck getting it going, so fortunately AA again came to my rescue. Within an hour I was back on the road. I made it a further hour before breaking down again, but by this time I was rather enjoying my adventure and the potential stress of the whole situation never amounted to any frustration what so ever. So, I found a place to lie in the grass across the road in the most idyllic spot and I read my new book while the next AA man attempted to find me.

I would have been quite happy if it took him all afternoon...

He efficiently turned up after an hour, and I did have to leave this serene spot, but from here as well as from the weeks that trailed behind it, I took something of it home with me. I broke down one last time in the last town 5 minute from home, but managed to fix it myself and finally arrived back at my house after an eight hour trip and more than three weeks of being away. But I arrived home different to when I left; I had arrived home finally as me. Free from the burdens of my past and free from the worry of what is to come. Free to live in this moment, for it is the only moment within which we can live.

I spent three marvelous weeks away and in there somewhere a seed was sown that will change the rest of this journey of life, whatever it is to be. I still have challenges ahead and many, many things to learn, that is most likely and it wouldn't be as enjoyable without them. But from here I can live perfectly comfortable in life's uncertainty, for nothing in life is promised, and nothing in life is permanent.